BURNIE: Gavin or Google? Google or Gavin?
Which one said it? Let’s find out! GAVIN: I’m feeling lucky! BURNIE: The first phrase was, “do cats know..?”
BARBARA: Oh, great.
BURNIE: “Do cats know… when you turn off the light?” BURNIE: Which is a great question, because just recently Ashley’s cat Nutmeg was in the middle of, like, the bathroom rug. Just sleeping in the middle of the night, and I walked into the dark and full-on stepped on Nutmeg. She must have been like, “What the fuck is wrong with you?!” BARBARA: You crushing that pussy!!! GUS: Oh my God… BURNIE: But cats have no idea that we can’t see in the dark, right? They have no clue. GUS: Yeah, they probably think we see like they do.
BURNIE: They just – all of a sudden, like, we go blind for no reason, to them. BURNIE: The other response I got was, “do cats know why people want to squeeze them?” BARBARA: I think Gavin said do cats, uh… the squeezing one. Because Gavin likes to squeeze things and whenever he sees a cute animal, he goes like this: BARB-GAVIN: “Ooooooooh!” BARBARA: So, and that’s–
GAVIN: Accurate. BURNIE: You know, Joel does the same thing. BARBARA: Joel goes “pooooor kitty… pooooooor kitty…” BURNIE: Yeah, he’ll stand… like, a cat’ll be walking, and Joel will straddle it on either side of its legs, and then he bends down and goes pat-pat on either side with his hands. Like he’s never – like he’s read about people petting cats, and he’s just trying to figure it out? And it is… he pats on either side, and to Joe the Cat, he just does this – he goes “Cat cat cat cat cat cat.” All right, the next phrase was, “where is…?” The first thing that came back: “Where is the Internet, exactly?” And the other one that came back is, “Where is the world’s first poo right now?” BARBARA: That’s absolutely Gavin, I don’t even, yeah. Gavin said the poo.
BURNIE: Gus? You wanna talk us through this? GUS: Okay. “Where is the Internet, exactly?” is someone wondering, What country has jurisdiction to regulate the internet? BURNIE: You’re given a lot of credence to Gavin and Google, buddy. GUS: I’m gonna think that one’s Gavin.
BURNIE: And Barbara saying the poo one?
BARBARA: Absolutely. BURNIE: …still reigning champion Barbara Dunkleman! BARBARA: The fact that the word ‘poo’ was used…
GAVIN: Should have been ‘poop’.
BARBARA: It’s a very Gavin word. GAVIN: Well, I mean at some point life is just like cells dividing and stuff, but at some point something took a dump. GAVIN: Where was it? And what was it?
BARBARA: Do you think it still exists?
GAVIN: How big was this dump? GAVIN: No, it doesn’t still exist! It might be a fossil…
GAVIN: …but it was somewhere. There’s a first of everything!