Gavin: Did you ever burn stuff when you were a kid? Were you ever a little pyromaniac? Geoff: Nah… nah Geoff: Well, I burned ants with a magnifying glass a couple times. Gavin: So you never actually set fire to stuff. Geoff: No, I wasn’t one of those kids that liked to set fire to stuff. Geoff: My friend Solomon, who WAS the kind of kid that would set fire to shit… Geoff: We were in an empty lot walking to my house one day in the dead of winter. Geoff: I turn around, and he’s lighting a bunch of dead grass on fire. Geoff: And I’m like “What are you doing, asshole?” Geoff: And he’s like “Ah, my hands are cold. I was just gonna warm them up” Geoff: I’m like “Shut up”. Geoff: And then the next thing I know a wind comes by and the entire vacant lot is on fire. Gavin: Oh my god. Jeeez. Geoff: Like a wildfire.
Gavin: What did you do? Just leg it? Geoff: I took my jacket off and I started beating the fire down. Geoff: And the funny thing about that was, it was a brand new fucking jacket that my mom had just got for me. Geoff: And was like “Take good care of this jacket” Geoff: And I’m like “Yeah yeah, yeah, whatever”. Geoff: And it was one of those nylon puffy jackets because it was the 80s. Gavin: Heh heh heh.
Geoff: And so it just melted. Gavin: You get a bollockin’? Geoff: Ehh, well I never told my mom. But, eh, the jacket–I took it to school the next day. Geoff: And I hung it up, like, on the hook at school, and I never brought it home again. Geoff: And then my mom would be like, “Where is your jacket?” Geoff: And I’m like, “Ah, I left it at school” and she’s like, “Bring it home!” Geoff: And I’m like, “Yeah, it wasn’t cold enough; it was too hot in the bus. I just left it at school”. Geoff: She was like, “Bring your jacket home!” and I’m like, “I’ll do it tomorrow”. Geoff: And on the last day of school, she’s like, “DID YOU BRING YOUR JACKET HOME?” Geoff: And I’m like, “Mom, It’s May. Why would I bring my jacket home?” Geoff: And then I just never told her that the thing was just a burnt pile of shit. Gavin: So didn’t you have to be cold some days? Geoff: I was cold for a winter because… [laughter] Geoff: …cause of Solomon. Geoff: BUT the important thing is, I never got caught and I never got in trouble.