Geoff: You know, that’s half the reason I had a kid – was so I could feed her misinformation. I was trying to get Millie to go to the bathroom but she didn’t wanna go, and I asked her if she liked bears and she was like “Yeah, of course I like bears” and I was like well, bears eat poop and bears live in the toilet so –
Burnie: Oh fuck! Geoff: You need to feed the bears or they’re gonna starve.
Burnie: Why would you do that? Burnie: Why did you do that!?
Geoff: I don’t know it just seemed like a good idea at the time! Burnie: To tell a child that a bear lives-
Gus: A bear is waiting for her to sit down so he can come out and eat? Gus [laughing]: Oh, man you’re an idiot. Geoff: I’m pretty sure my mother had a kid just for the indentured servitude. Like I’d get home from school at 2:30 – I had to call my mom and she would give me the list of like, 7 hours of chores I had to do that day. That was her way of keeping me out of trouble and so it was like “Clean out the rain gutters, cut the grass, repaint the living room” – I just painted it last week – “Paint it again…’ Burnie: You sure it wasn’t like, to build skills? Like maybe she’s like Mr. Miyagi. She’s like, “Show me clean the gutter”! She throws a dragon strike at you-
Geoff: Like one day it’s all gonna come together for me, Burnie: Like you’ll be attacked, by a guy covered in leaves, you’ll be like, “I know this”! [Gus laughing]
Geoff: Somebodys gonna assassinate the president, my moms gonna be like “Fold the towel!” Maybe I’m a sleeper agent and I don’t even know it. Burnie: Maybe you missed your calling.