[Achievement Hunter Logo Swoosh] [Rage Quit Theme] Michael: Oh, I’m in a fucking bus!
I’m in a school bus! Let’s GOOO! Come on! (Oh fuck, there we go) SHANANANANANA – NANANANANANA (Vocalizing) What the fuck is this?! (Inaudible) Just fallin. I’m just fucking fallin… (boom)
(Bones crack) There’s a thing, I fell… Did I WIN? Did I FINISH? My fucking GUTS are at the finish line, LOOK AT ME! My blood is pouring onto the finish line! HOW DID I NOT WIN?! Ho-ly shit, that guy’s not having a good day… …Suck it, Bitch! Got fucking rekt by a sign. Oh, just break in the fucking front door… SEGWAY POLICE! Going into the basement now…
…watch out for the waste! Is this the bathroom? Is that a button? The hell am I doing? What is *that*? What is THIS? What the hell did I just do?! HOLY – SHIT! Whoa! WHOA, WHOA! What the fuck?!?! Time travel is a pretty dangerous thing because you will fucking lose your legs. “YOU LIKE THAT WHEN I RUN THROUGH YOUR GUT?!” (Girl Screaming Effect) When he hangs on it looks like he’s just short, like he’s a midget!
(Like he’s Hitler-) He’s just got lil tiny legs! (Revving Sound Effects) (Bones Crack)
(Revving Sound Effects) (Revving Sound Effects) How do I go forward? (Dinosaur Attack)
OH, MY, GOD! WHERE AM I? AM I DEAD – BEHIND THE TREE? WHERE THE HELL AM I? Oh, there I am! There I am! WHAT ARE YOU DOING NOW? HE’S LIKE, PROPPED UP AGAINST THE FUCKING ROCK! DON’T TAKE A FUCKING NAP! WE GOTTA FINISH THE FUCKING LEVEL, YA IDIOT! (Vocalizing doo-do-la-doo-do-la-doos) Aw, it was like fucking Tarzan swinging that… …Did you see that? Tarzan with a fucking segway: New and improved: Tarzan 2.0: Tarzan 2000: TARZAN 2012! TARZAN IN 3-D! Broke my foot, it’s fine, going through Dino-land; Going through Dino-land; Going through Dino-land. There’s dinos, there’s a bush, there’s some dino eggs. That’s a dinosaur, I’m gonna back up I’m gonna – No, mmm, Nooooo! I’m gonna try to get under his legs. GET UNDER HIS FUCKING LEGS! HE’S JUST KICKING ME BACK TO THE BEGINNING OF THE GODDAMN LEVEL! Great, you pushed me back 400 feet then fucking snapped my neck and ate me, YOU TAP DANCING *FUCK*!!! Oh, boy, did she have a bad knight – (get it?) So it works like this: Renaissance Fair, Science Building;
Time Machine in the Basement. I am so sorry, I am soooo sorry about this. “Thank god you found me”– (legit imitation and mocking skills) “Oh, god!” (Legit imitation, mocking and lengthy moaning skills) There’s the bush of death; These are the Eggs of Wonder? Go back, Go BACK, GO BACK, GO BACK! GO BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!! I’m hiding – Oh, whoa, where am I going? Woah, he’s not out of it yet! He’s not out of it yet! There’s a wa – there’s a pond, Prehistoric pond; Dinosaur cave, DINOSAUR CAVE! Coming out the dinosaur mouth: Little dinosaur! Wait, whoa, whoa, whoa, what the shit? “Eject the” — Are there fucking instructions mid-level?! Let’s try this, ready? UHHHHHHH What the fuck? Aw, shit, I gotta grab his ass? GRAB HIS ASS. We got – do we got this? Go, Go! GRAB HIS ASS! GET HIM, GRAB HIM! GRAAAAAAAB HIM! ARE, YOU, FUCKING, KIDDING ME?! REALLY? I WENT ALL THE WAY THROUGH FUCKING
DINOSAUR LAND AND I GOT NO LEGS AND SHIT; AND I’M GONNA FALL FROM HERE?! I DIDN’T EVEN GET TO FUCKING RIDE THE DINOSAUR! Okay, do the Spider… He’s – I’m Spider-ing it! [Achievement Hunter Outro Theme]