Skout: So maybe the Nomad got away, but at least we know he’s- Toth: Not. Now. Skout: They’re lined up early today. Guard: Hey, you’ve got to pay for that! Toth: Rules are rules. Soldier: Captain Toth, Don Paragon awaits your report. Skout: I bet he’s gonna be happy to see us. Don Paragon: Toth! You’re back. I’ve got a leg hair plucking to vamanos to so let’s just jump to the part where you didn’t find the Nomad and you vow to continue your never-ending quest – yada, yada, yada Toth: We found him. Don Paragon: What? Toth: We found the Nomad. Don Paragon: You *found* the Nomad Ohohoho, Toth! I could just devour you, you beautiful bronze statue. So where is he? I gotta see my magical little meal ticket Skout: Well… Don Paragon: You… Lost the Nomad Toth: He escaped, yes. His magic was as crafty as the legend said. Skout: He might have gotten away, But I’d like to think we learned the value of teamwork. Well, except in the part where Toth stomped off on her own there at the end and kind of left everybody back at the- Toth: What Skout means to say is now that we’ve seen what he can do we’ll be better prepared for the next time. Don Paragon: Dramatic! Harrowing tragic! A fiery escape! Dreams up in smoke! I love it! I hate it! But progress is still progress and this was definitely progress, despite your defeat. Every noble venture is bound to endure setbacks. It’s like that thing I always say about myself. Back in the early days of the Oasis, when I bravely endeavored to stumble upon the only water source for miles, to establish my very own highfalutin utopia, what was my most important quality? Yes, you in the front. Skout: Uh… persistence? Jethro: Looking sharp? Santi: A modest loan with a reasonable interest rate? Don Paragon: Being first. Which is exactly what we’re going to do now. We’re going to nab that magical monster before anyone else can get their grubby little hands on him. The question is: How do we do it? Toth: I suggest regrouping immediately and – Red Manuel: Might Red Manuel offer a different suggestion? Don Paragon: Oh, you’re Red Manuel. [chuckle] You’ve got a shtick, third-person, I love it. Continue. Red Manuel: Why thank you, it’s nice to be appreciated for – Don Paragon: Continue. Red Manuel: Yes. Apologies. Why worry about being first when you can pay someone else to be first for you? Don Paragon: I’m not following here, Rojo. Red Manuel: With your many resources and vast influence, you could offer a reward for the Nomad’s capture. The Southwest has many bounty hunters. We could cover much more ground in the search for the Nomad rather than putting all our huevos in one basket. A very unworthy basket. Toth: Sir, I think Red is still dealing with a concussion from his spectacular failure on our mission. Don Paragon: Oh no no, I like this. I’ll give them money, water, a time-share, whatever gets me the Nomad before anybody else realizes how valuable he is. Rojo here has a point, Toth, and I do love huevos… Toth: I can find him. You need to – Don Paragon: What I *need* is to be certain *you* can do your job, Toth. Because right now, I’ve got more doubts than I have fancy outfits, and I have a lot of fancy outfits. There’s something that needs attending on the outskirts, just the sort of rough-and-tumble mission to get you back on track, chica. And don’t go looking for the Nomad until you prove you can be useful. Understood? Red Manuel: May the best man win. Don Paragon: First things first. I want new wanted posters in every town from here to the Iron Border featuring my reward. And let’s make sure it’s got that “Don Paragon Pizzazz”. Skout: Mister Paragon, not to be too prickly about it, but, the Nomad saved us all. He came back for us. I think he didn’t want us to die. Don Paragon: A moral compass. That’s just splendid, Skout. That means he’s got a weakness, good thinking. Skout: What? No, that’s not what I meant, I just uh… Why we gotta catch him so bad? Don Paragon: Because El Rey wants him, little wildflower. That’s the thing about being the king, you get whatever you want. Besides, who are we to second guess? Do you think you know more about the dangers of magic than El Rey? Me neither. Now, now, cheer up, Captain Toth. The wasteland is a treacherous place that fairer folk can’t brave on their own. With any luck he won’t have gotten far. The elements will have undoubtedly slowed him to a pathetic crawl. Old Man: What do you want? Yeah, you. You proselytizing? Tryin’ to sling me some ballyhoo? The silent sell, huh? Ain’t seen that one before. [o-s] Martha: Who’s there? Old Man: I don’t know Martha, he won’t tell me. He’s crafty… [o-s] Martha: ‘s he some door-to-door trickster? Tell him we don’t want no more magazine subscriptions. We can’t even read! Old Man: You hear that, snake? We’re poor and illiterate! Joke’s on you! [cackles] Barty: Hi, you’re new around here. Name’s Barty. Wanna join an exciting project to help Bliss Hill? Great! But first you have to answer my exhaustive questionnaire. Ready? Ever killed a man? Know your basic ‘rithmetics? Go you believe in ghosts? Can you do a cartwheel? Hmm… form could have been better. Hey, I just noticed something. Can’t you talk? A mute! That’s good for diversity. Okay, last question, and the most important… Got any food? Or water? Guess that was hoping for too much So no food, no water, ain’t never killed a man. What can you do? Wow! You can do bonafide magic! What other tricks you got? Just the one, huh? Well, I ain’t one to complain, especially since we got this dancing fruit. Well, if that ain’t this town in a nutshell, I don’t know what is. But you know what? I think you passed the test, stranger. Come on. Punk Teen: Magic, huh? Barty: Hmm… they’re either here or at Merry Caverns. Hold up a second. [whistles] Dolores: Barty, why’d you bring a stranger here? Are you under duress? Eugene: He’s using the secret code! Dolores: What’s he saying? Eugene: Either he has to go to the bathroom or… Operation Bandit! Dolores: Consult the protocols. Eugene: Alright, section 14, article C: “Bandits” “There are three types of bandits.” “The etymology of the word ‘Bandit’ comes from the Vocaran word ‘Bandito'” Dolores: Come on Eugene, my shooting arm’s getting tired! Eugene: There’s no protocal for that! Barty: Ow! Eugene: Another victim of bureaucracy! Curse all this red tape. Dolores: Aw, stuff it, Eugene. Why’d you bring him here anyway, Barty? Barty: Just show them what you can do. Dolores: He makes… baby rocks? My Pappy’s birds and bees talk didn’t cover this at all. Barty: No, you dolts. He brings things to life with magic. You know what that means? Stranger, it’s time I told you the purpose of this outfit. We’re… Barty, Eugene, and Dolores: The Mill Preservation Society! Dolores: All them long-legged grown-ups forgot about the mill when the water stopped flowing… Eugene: But we’re the future of this here town, and we’re gonna do whatever we can to get that mill turning again. Barty: To heck with the grown-up establishment, our livelihoods depend on it. Dolores: We ain’t hooli-gans, we’re hooli-cans. And we’s gonna fix Bliss Hill. Barty: Does that mean you’re with us? Punk Teen: Here they are, sheriff. Dolores: Hold it right there, long-legs. Sheriff: Barty. Somehow I knew I’d find out you were the reason for these dunderheads complaining. Looks like my fool boy led you lot on a goose chase. Ain’t no magic here. That’s only gonna bring us more problems. Barty: But Pa, he is doing magic and it ain’t bad. Sheriff: Stranger, I’m only gonna say this once. Take your dark magic and get out of here. Barty: He ain’t a stranger, he’s my friend. His magic can help whole town. In fact, he’s gonna bring back the old mill. Barty: Why not? You brought the rocks to life. I know you can do it, Bliss Hill needs you. Sheriff: Barty, get away from him. Barty: Just let him try. It could change everything. I don’t care what anybody says about magic. Sheriff: Alright Barty, time to run along. Barty: See Pa, it’s working! I knew he could do it. I knew you had a few screws loose, Barty, but this is bad medicine. We can’t have the mill acting on its own like this. It’ll bring the wrong sorts to Bliss Hill. Eugene: You broke it. Sheriff: You’re lucky I don’t string you up right where you stand. Get out of here. Don’t never come back. Don’t see that every day.