Miles: Why hello and welcome to “A Million Dollars But…” M: I’m your host for today, Miles Luna, and with me are my friends M: Kerry “The Man” Shawcross M: And Gray Haddock M: Welcome boys Gray: Ey!
Kerry: Thank you M: Hey, we all do animated stuff right? M: We got a little theeeme going for today G: *nod of approval*
M: So why don’t we just er… you know do some fun goofs that are maybe animated related M: Oh that’s fun to say
G: Oh go M: Animated related M: No… it’s not that fun
G: *laughs* M: I said it a second time and I’m over it now M: Million dollars BUT K: Okay… M: Randomly, once per day, one of your thoughts is going to be projected above your head as a thought bubble- K: *pop*
M: That everrrryone can see M: It can be something as mundane as “Ooo I forgot my car keys” M: And you see a little bubble of your little stick figure whatever person going “Oh!” and then thinking of keys M: Or it could be in the middle of a meeting. “I really want to f**king punch that person” M: And then you know, we get a nice little fun bubble of you just mercilessly beating a person in the room to a bloody pulp M: And that could maybe be a little awkward for everyone else at that table K: Okay, some- sometimes you’re talking to people. K: Maybe you sugarcoat things a little K: If you send me over a script Miles
M: Yeah yeah yeah K: And I’m like, “Yeah yeah I-I think… I think that line could work”. And like over my head is just like M: It’s just you holding a lighter up to the script and watching it burn and then peeing on it
K: Yeah *Laughter* G: But no really, what if it was spoilers? M: Imagine being at a movie theatre where you’ve seen the movie before M: Not only could a potential spoilery thought pop up in your head “You’re blocking the f**king view asshole! Down in front!” G: And then everyone in the room’s pissed off at you G: It would force you to be that much more open and natural with everybody and just admit- “Hey we’re all human. We all have these thoughts”
“We all think about f**king each other sometimes” M: Yes!
G: I was gonna say “Come together” K: Yeah exactly
G: But there we go
All: *agrees at the thoughts of “come/cum together” M: Alright, would you do it? Million dollars? G: Yeah I would do it
K: It’s one thought a day, yeah I’d do it M: I think-
K: *points somewhere above* Oh I can see it M: I think I’d do it and you’d know
K: That’s- that’s what it was K: Also it was weird. It was just you blowing me K: I don’t know why… that was above your head
G: *wheezes* M: So this is the last time we’re all hanging out right?
All: Yeah… K: Million dollars but… M: That’s a lot of money
K: It is Miles G: Very tempting
K: It is K: So every time you get aroused, you have a tentacle that comes out of your pants *squishing noises* *tentacle boop*
K: That is sentient, for the rest of your life M: Is this thing replacing my doodle? Or…? K: I would like to be VERY clear right now
M: Please do K: This is NOT your penis
M: O- *starts laughing* Okay, good to know K: This is penis adjacent
M: Okay… K: Shaft? Your friend G: How do you prescreen potential dates if this is what’s going on with you? K: I feel like you could just throw that around and it would be easier? M: “Hey do you like calamari? BOY do I have a surprise for you!” *laughter*
K: Yeah but I- That could be his name, Sushi! K: He helps out with your date. M: Whats sushi gonna do, tenderly go up and like, brush her hair out of her face? M: That’s COOL, but its gonna leave a slug trail on her face. K: Well and that’s when he comes in with a napkin, cutely dabs it away
M: Okay- K: A little suction gets stuck, hes gotta like pull it off-
M: That’s kinda cute. K: He’s there to facilitate (G: Okay) the act. M: I’m hearing right now NOTHING but positives from this scenario, if i’m being completely honest. G: You’re getting out of the car, you’ve got that one extra bag of groceries that you don’t want to go back to the car for- K: “I’m getting this diet soda in the house right now goddammit”
*whipcrack* M: “Ughhh Jennifer Lawrence Jennifer Lawrence Jennifer Lawrence, help me out!”
*cackling laughter* G: Bonus round. G: Can you, per extra million dollars, get another tentacle?
M: *gasp of excitement* G: How many would you do, if you- if you were-
M: Six. G: That was FAST
K: That’s it??
M: Can I just say- M: Can I just say- cause then its nice and symmetrical, M: You got your Johnson out there and then you got three on each side- M: You got Sushi, Sishi, Sashi, Soshi, Suchi.. M: And Steven. M: And now you’ve got the whole- the gangs all here, you’ve got this great presentation! K: I would have, like, a hula skirt situation.
*laughter* K: Go to the beach, “Ahh shit I forgot my trunks. Don’t worry.”
*gross squishy noise* M: Fuuuck.
K: “I’m all good now!” G: “By the way, your ass looks GREAT today.” K: So, a million large ones… K: Would you…have…a little arousal…tentacle buddy? G: Yeah I- I’m faking like i’m pausing to think-
*laughter* K: Its just for the camera. Absolutely. M: I’m into some weird shit, i’d do it M: And let me say, I would like the -six- million. G: A million dollars. G: But. K: That’s alotta money. M: Fuck you, let him finish!
G: It is alot of money! G: For the rest of your life, any time you have even the slightest disagreement, G: It must be settled with an anime style fight. K: Ohhhhh.
G: Yeahhh. M: Alright, here’s my question though, what kind of anime fight are we talking here? M: Are we talking, like, Samurai Champloo M: Like *schoo* one person looks the other one down, *schoo*, the other one looks the other one down, M: Theres only one cup of coffee left, *shiing* one move and- M: Oh he’s cut in half now and you win. M: Are we talking about some Dragon Ball Z ass 13 episode drawn out shit?! M: Its like “Yo hey Kerry i’m pretty sure -this- is how you spell the word ‘yea’ ” M: And you go “Uh, i’m sorry, -this- is how you spell the word ‘yeah’ ” M: And then we look at each other, and for the next thirteen hours go: *HYEEEEAAAAAHHHHHHH* *laughter* G: Yeah, I can already see this is going horribly awry.
K: Now Gray.. K: I’m- I’m gonna dip into your personal life for a second
G: Sure. K: You have a two year old kid. G: And she’s learned the word no…
*laughter* K: You have a very sweet daughter, but if she doesn’t wanna eat them veggies..
G: Yeah.. K: OR, you find out she’s super strong K: And you come in with a black eye and we’re like “Gray are you okay” and you’re like “I’m fine” M: “Shes, turns out, uh, Gohan.” M: “Yeah but i’m just telling everyone I fell into a doorknob.” *laughter* G: So, I mean, it either occurs that you’ve gotta become the most polite person ever. M: OR the most passive aggressive person ever. K: “Cool fine, YOU get the muffin, i’m going to the hospital now thanks.” M: And then i’ll say “You cant go to the hospital, we have another meeting after this!” K: And i’ll say “No I have to go to the hospital, cause now my arms wrong cause you broke it!” *HYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH* M: Your office is right next to the writers room M: Say goodbye to that fucking wall cause it’s gonna explode about 37 times per day. K: “Oop, that scripts gonna be late, alright yeah…” *laughter* M: I don’t think I can do it..
K: My profession… K: Would not happen if that was true. G: Oh man I am tempted, but- G: I- I actually think that might complicate life just a little too much. M: You think JUST a little?
G: Just a little bit, there’s other things I wanna do. M: Well gentlemen, I think we learned a lot about each other, and made a lot of money in the process! M: So thank you!
K: I think we learned TOO much about eachother if i’m being frank. M: Let’s agree to disagree, hopefully not in-
G: Not into an anime fight. M: Yeahhh, about the whole thing Blaine: Hey guys, thanks for watching Million Dollars, But™ If you enjoyed this episode you’re probably going to enjoy our game. We’ve got the MDB party game, as well as the expansion packs available at MDBgame.com Just click this link somewhere around here, So that you can find out what you, your family, your friends would all do for a million dollars. Hey, can you do me a favor? Can you have a great day? Thanks.