Today’s main course… Is burnt. Let’s talk about that.( music playing )Good mythical morning! Today we are playing a game
with the craziest headlines
from this week and watching Link
eat peanut butter, yes, but first, I’ve been
the recipient of
quite a lot of sick burns on the internet, such as,
“Rhett is so gross and smelly, he should change
his name to Sweat. Or, “Rhett has lost
so much money in bitcoin, he should change
his name to Debt. Or, “Rhett will die young
because he’s too tall. Oh. But devastating
insults aside, we’re gonna be working with
a different kind of burn today, – burnt food.
– Mm. Now we’ve eaten a lot
of stuff on this show, but this is
the crispiest taste test we have ever
participated in. It’s time for… Let’s give a good mythical
welcome to “Top Chef’s” top dog, the queen of
all things culinary, purveyor of her brand-new
M.A.C. capsule makeup collection that comes out
March 15th… – Hello.
– Whoo, whoo, whoo! – Welcome to the show.
– Hi. – Thanks for having me.
– Oh, yeah. I’ve never been on this show,
I’m excited. We’ve been on it.
It’s great. But we’re doing something
that we’ve never done before. We’ve eaten
a lot of weird stuff, but we’ve never eaten
just burnt stuff. – Mm-hmm.
– We’re really stretching. When I eat it,
I’m not doing it on purpose, but today I will. I think all this stuff
that we’re gonna be eating has been very purposely
and very thoroughly burnt. – Uh-huh.
– So this is
what’s gonna happen, every round, we’re gonna have
a little dish in front of us – with some very
burnt food on it.
– Okay. Okay. And we’re just trying
to guess what it is, but because
you’re our guest, we’re gonna give you
the option to have a lifeline, you’re going to be able to call
on the help of the sexy fireman. – ( imitates cat screech )
– When he’s not busy
putting out fires or making out
with people’s wives, he’s giving you a clever tip
about your burnt food. Okay, great. All right, whoever wins, gets labeled
“The Crispy Queen,” and will be awarded
the Sash of Ash, a glorious
burnt toast regalia. And here it is,
a burnt nugget of something. Oh, you’re– Padma’s already–
ooh, she just… she’s just eating it! Oh, my gosh. I don’t know. I was like, “I don’t know
how far that’s gonna go.” Well, I know what it is,
can I say it? No. This one’s
relatively easy, is it not? ( gags ) Stevie:
You guys ready
to officially guess?– Yeah.
– Yes.Three, two, one.– You said “rice.”
–It’s sushi.I mean, it is rice. – It is rice!
– But there’s other things. Yeah, but rice is the main
component, I call ( bleep ). – So what is it.
– And it’s not
technically sushi… – What sushi has peas in it?
– it’s California roll, right?No, it’s a tuna roll.– Tuna roll.
– ( coughing )Do you want me to
take back your point, Rhett?No, no, no, no,
give us all a point. Okay, this one has a garnish
that is not burnt. Hold on, wait, hold on,
you attack these. Hey, she’s a
professional, man. If she wants to
just start eating, let her start eating! You’re so hungry. Can I go? – Yeah.
– Okay. Ugh, it stinks. Ugh! – Oh.
– What is that? ( stammers ) Wait, Rhett,
see we haven’t even… It’s really salty. Okay, can I guess? ( laughter ) We wanna play too. Okay, I’m… Hold on, you’re eating
the garnish as well? The garnish is the least
of his worries right now. Rhett:
That’s too much. – You ate too much.
– Ooh, it is salty. – You made a mistake.
– Mm-hmm. It’s kinda hard to– it could
be so many different things. Ugh, the burnt-ness
is just repulsive. But then it gets better. If you would’ve kept it
in your mouth a little bit… – That’s like saying…
– …it would’ve gotten better. I’m just saying,
it’s still in my mouth. That’s like saying
the Mojave Desert is less hot than Hell, it’s just a matter of degrees. Okay, I got a guess,
let’s do this. – All right.
–Okay, three, two…I don’t have a guess. – Fish!
that’s true, bacon.You’re all incorrect.– Okay.
– Ugh.You wanna try one more time?It’s very– ugh. It is very fatty.Oh, you’re so close.Oh, gosh. It’s not fat? Is that not
specific enough?It’s mayo.That’s not pork. – Rhett and Link: What?
– It’s burnt mayo, really? This is just mayonnaise? Oh, wow, this one has
a strong fragrance. Oh, I think I know
what this is. Ooh, it actually smells good. You’re trying it again already. – Can I try it?
– I’m just following your lead. – Okay.
– On this show, we typically like to dink it and sink things. – Dink!
– So dink it… – Pinkies up or pinkies down?
– Oh, good idea. – Pinkies up.
– Yeah. Making it classy
for once. Okay. ( gags )
I think I know what this is, but I just need
a little bit of help, poor me. Can I have the sexy fireman? – Good idea.
– That could be arranged. Bring in the sexy fireman. ( music playing ) Where’s the fire? – Wow!
– Where’s the fire? Okay. What month are you
in the calendar? I’m all the months.
Where’s the fire? Well, I don’t know
about the fire, fireman, but this is really hot,
so can you try it? Link:
Oh, he gets to try it.
( chuckles ) If it’s slippery,
it’s East Coast style, if it’s crispy,
it’s Hong Kong style, and if it’s just right,
it’s my style. ( music playing ) – What?
– He was not helpful at all. Are you talking about the food
or something else? I don’t know. If I set the plate on fire, then he might’ve
jumped to action. “If it’s slippery”? What did you say? No, oh! Sexy fireman
only gives us one hint. – He said something about
slippery and crunchy.
– He’s back, though. Where’s the fire? The fire’s on my plate, sir. If it’s slippery,
it’s East Coast style, if it’s crispy,
it’s Hong Kong style… Hong Kong. …and if it’s just right, that’s my style. I like the pause… – Yeah.
– …for “my style.” Pregnant pause is good. Stevie:
You guys ready to guess?– East Coast, Hong Kong.
– Hold on, hold on. “East Coast”? What? I think I got this one
in the bag. I’m ready.Three, two, one.Oh… I didn’t hear it.I said “ramen,”
you said “squid”? Bird’s nest… noodles. – “Bird’s nest noodles”?
– Onions. No, it’s not onions.…chow mein.– It’s what?
– Chow mein. – Low mein.
– There’s an East Coast style
to chow mein?I actually believe
the sexy firemanswitched the East
and West Coasts,but you guys still
didn’t get it, so…– Didn’t matter.
– Wait, wait, wait, wait, Chow mein
is made of noodles. Yeah, that’s true. And I said “noodles.”Rice and sushi.I think I get the point. All right,
we’ll give you the point. Yay. Okay, so this one we’ve got
three little nuggets… – Mm-hmm.
– …per plate. Wait, I have to touch up
my lipstick because this is
having a hard effect. Look at all the brown,
oh, my God. You don’t want
a lot of burnt, burnt residue on the lips,
I get it. Luckily, I design
a makeup line for it. Available when? – Available March 15th.
– 15th. – That’s right.
– That’s right, worldwide. – Online and in stores.
– Do you mind hitting me up? You need it too, actually. This is a beautiful–
go like this. Okay. This line is actually
made for darker, you know, like people
who aren’t white, but it looks good on people who are white too, that’s the beauty of this, which is why
it’s really good for you because it’s translucent. But look at how beautiful, – look at that.
– Rhett: Oh, wow. Don’t you wanna
just kiss that pout? Nefertiti. Not really. It’s great. It looks beautiful on you. I didn’t think about it, but it would look–
it does, you know, I keep saying it looks good
on everybody, but now… ( laughter ) I’ve been over here
waiting for it a long time. Put your lips normally and
just stretch ’em a little bit. There you go. See, now you know why women
make all those weird faces when they’re doing
their makeup in the mirror. ( laughter ) And that, my friends,
is how you put on lip gloss. – Wow.
– Look at that. We’re all Nefertiti. You guys look like
you’re ready for the club. Triple Nefertiti. I’m so hungry for
some more burnt-ness now. Oh, yes, okay. – Okay.
– Now… Just listen,
listen to how burnt it is. Oh, I was about to say,
“How you gon’ do that?” Oh, okay. So fierce,
you’re like a ravenous tiger. Oh, she’s getting
a cross-section here. If I had my glasses,
I could see better. It’s definitely meat, huh? It’s obviously a meat. This one’s not that bad. Sorry. I get a massage too? – Um…
– Wow. – Okay, I know. I think I know.
– You know what kind
of meat this is? I mean, I want to take a guess, but I don’t want him
to figure it out. I mean,
I’m ready to guess. – Stevie:Okay, here we go.
– I’m ready.Three, two, one.– What did you say?
– I said pork.Okay, it is chicken, so…– Yay!
– Yes!I’m gonna give you a point,but can you guesswhat kind of chicken it is?White meat chicken. –Ugh.
– It’s a thigh. A feathered chicken, what?It’s Chicken McNuggets.Now this one
is in pieces. Oh, my goodness. That’s rosemary,
I know that. That’ll be a good
palate cleanser. So, I mean, this is like
just little nuggets. Well, not nug– ooh, what? It could be anything,
that frickin’ stuff in the second round
was mayo. Yeah, that one was hard. So charred. – So… hard to eat.
– This is hard. Oh. I need my microscope. I would just like
some glasses, I mean… Oh, you want like a… you want some glasses? Padma:
Are those readers? No, they’re just
for looks. Oh, ( bleep ), no, no,
I have the opposite sight. I figured it out, you gotta get your eyeball
like three inches from it. Padma:
Did they chop it or…? I think– I have a guess based on the configuration of it. It has a funnel cake
on a miniaturized scale… – Quality?
– …kinda configuration, but it’s meat. Stevie:
Oh.I think fireman has something.– Oh.
– Where’s the fire? Thank you, sexy fireman. – Oh, sexy fireman
got reading glasses.
– ( gasps ) Yay! Oh, this is total game-changer,
hold on. Why don’t you give us
a hint while you were
giving her the glasses? ( music playing ) Where’s the fire? There is no fire, do you
understand the premise of this? Cooking this on “Top Chef”
is a bad idea. It is a bad idea. But saying yes to
dinner with me, that’s a good idea. Well, you give me the answer… you give me the answer
to this question, you may get your wish. Listen, if you get
a date with her, you don’t get paid,
you don’t get both. ( laughter ) That’s right,
you have to choose. – Stevie:You ready to guess?
– Yes. – Yes.
–Three, two, one.– I think it’s… ground beef.
– I think it’s grubs.Incorrect.I don’t even know
how to give you a hintbeyond what the sexy fireman
just hinted,so it’s mushroom risotto.Oh, I said fried rice and risotto
is made with rice. You can’t get that one. – You’re already in the lead!
– You’re already in the lead! Oh. Little slice of heaven. Well, I hope it’s not meat. But burnt like hell. – Rhett: Oh, I can’t even…
– Link: Oh, you’re… It actually looks good
when you eat it. How do you not…? Let me try it. Oh, man. That is spongy. How did you get
through that? I’ve eaten a lot of ( bleep )
in my time. I have a lot of experience. This has got a consistency of inedibility. – It’s pretty inedible.
– It’s so spongy. – Very porous.
–I would like to
remind you guysthis is the final round
of a GMM episode,so keep that in mind.– Oh, uh-oh.
– Okay. What she’s saying is
it’s gonna be really gross. – Okay.
– ‘Cause this is the final round and, for the final
rounds of stuff, – we don’t go…
– Oh, I see. we don’t go cute,
we go nasty. So go for the nastier guess. Yeah. The nastiest guess
you could think of. I think it’s… I think
it’s something from like a sponge mop. There’s no way I can win,
who am I kidding? But I do have a guess.All right, here we go.– It’s horrible!
–Three, two, one.It’s a hoof!Think lower.Those were three guesses. I said a hoof, it don’t get any lower
than a hoof.Think nastier.Fish anus or pork anus. – It’s got…
– Pork anus tastes
way better than this I’m sure. – Anything pork tastes better.
–Oh, you’re so close,but they’re
Rocky Mountain oysters.– Oh, my God!
– Oh, it’s testicles! Really? I can’t believe
I missed that. It’s a testicle. Oh, now I’m pulling it apart,
and I continue to look at it. Why? – Ugh.
– Get it out of here. – Gosh.
– Okay, well,
I think we have our winner. First of all,
we’re all losers. – But…
– Sorry. – …Padma…
– it was empty mostly. This is… Padma is officially
our Crispy Queen! But you have this. Oh, really? Oh, yay! – I get a crown.
– Congratulations, Padmé. – This is awesome.
– Oh, wow. Crown and a sash. – You have the Sash of Ash.
– Hold on, hold on. – Oh, my goodness.
– Oh, my God, this is gonna go right… next to… Oh, wow. – The Crispy Queen.
– Link: All right. I expect you to be
wearing this tonight on the “Top Chef” finale. – Yes.
– Thank you, Padma,
for being here. Her new M.A.C. capsule
makeup collection comes out
March 15th, y’all. – Thank you.
– And click through to see Link eat some
peanut butter. Trust me, it’s worth it. And painful. Rhett:
Don’t burn yourselfbecause we’ve got
some hot news.Our new T-shirt collection
is available at mythical.store.