(Rage Quit intro music) Jack: Alright, so Michael, you do Rage Quit. Michael: I do? Michael: Yeah, I do. Jack: Alright, and everyone’s been asking about QWOP. Jack: Q. W. O. P. Jack: and, uh, we decided we’ll set you up with it, so… Michael: Great. Jack: I’m gonna give you a challenge. Jack: I want you to go-
Michael: Oh. Jack: I want you to go, uh, let’s say, Jack: let’s say ten meters Jack: in QWOP. Jack: Alright? Michael: Great. I flew across the country to fuckin’ play this. Jack: Alright, alright, alright.
Michael: Amazing, so excited. Jack: Have at it sir. We’ll see what happens.. Jack: Good luck. Jack: You’ve gotta click on it first.
Michael: Go, go, go, go Michael: Alright, I’m already getting pissed off. Michael: Now, how- Michael: I love the fucking intructions they give you in this fucking game. Michael: Oh! Those are your calves and those are your thighs, Michael: so what do you just fucking hit the keys? Michael: and now he’s doing this split. Michael: This- this guy isn’t even fucking human Michael: Like look at.. Michael: What the fuck is he doing? Michael: Really? Michael: I can’t even fucking die.. Michael: Oh, oh, oh. Like, when you do good, the music comes on Michael: This is amazing Michael: And now he’s running fucking backwards Michael: Go forward, you fucking idiot. Michael: And now, too far fucking forward Michael: Why does he move in slow motion? Michael: “Uh” Michael: Dude, holy fuck. Michael: This- I- I’m sorry. This is a 100-meter fucking dash and he’s in the Olympics. Michael: I think walking and running- you should probably learn that first before you’re in the Olympics, this is fucking (r word)